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Emotion you can touch
Mar. 16th, 2006 | 11:57 am
Its nice to make a decision that turns out right
I sold my copy of Mario ddr about a month ago for $130, not really knowing what its value would do but expecting it to drop. Well, it's dropping and that makes me happy. Last copy sold for $86. Here’s an interesting thing to take though. Whether its value went up or down after I sold it, I still have $130 and the affect that has on my life is exactly the same. In that sense it doesn't really matter what its value does after than. Then why do I get such joy out of seeing it go down?
Its unnerving to have a decision out there that doesn't seem solid
I've been selling my Sachen games on ebay. Sachen games are rare old NES games that sell pretty well ($25-$40 each) compared to most Nintendo games ($2-$8 each). So, they never show up on ebay. There are a couple that rarely show up but only select titles. I start selling mine and they are going well. I'm pleased with the first 2 weeks of sales and I have a number of them currently up. Well, this week another guy is listing a whole bunch of his sachen games. Ebay is kind of all about competitive timing. Supply and demand you know. The more bidders the higher things go. The more sellers the lower things go. It's best to have as few people competing with the same thing as you on ebay. So, this is discouraging. He actually has a lot of the entire collection up which comes out to about $16 a game. I actually considered buying it and reselling it myself just to kill the competition. And I'd probably make money off it. He also has a lot of single games up but only about 7 different titles(there are about 53). I just find it unusual, irritating, and somewhat coincidental that these finally show up on ebay (via me) and within 2 weeks a bunch more show up. Grr.
Its odd how decisions feel different than expected
I'm in the very early stages of selling off my video game collection. I started with all of them stacked on my bookshelf. Now I've only sold about 30 games so far(out of over a 1000). I tried to sell games before about 2 years ago. It was tough. I picked games I didn't like, and didn't care about and figured had no need for. I remember being nervous as I listed them. I remember feeling like crap once I shipped each one out. I remember feeling like, damn, there goes that piece of my collection. My collection had just lessened. I no longer had that part of my collection. It was actually emotionally distressing(little disturbing huh?). Well, this time, it's a different story. So far I've actually been selling part of my collection that were more prized by me. My rare stuff. The hard to find stuff. Yet, it's been a completely different feeling this time. This time I had a sense of "Finally!" when I listed them and feeling excitement. Then even more when I shipped them out there was a sense of relief. An unusually strong sense of relief. The other day I was at home looked at the bookcase where I had put the games I'm slowing selling off and noticed that it looked a bit smaller. I noticed a small gap where I had grabbed games that I sold. Again, I felt really good and was so glad to see that gap. It felt good for that part of the collection to be gone. Confused?
My history
Let me tell you a back story and maybe it'll help everything make sense. I started collecting after Rachel (tragic break up story for those who don't know) broke up with me. Collecting became one of my escapes. I figured a hobby would be a healthy thing to get into. I spend a lot of time on it. I loved it. Working on something. Completing something. It was all about being complete. I wanted the game, box, and manual. I wanted the game complete. This is a common term among collectors. I wanted every game. I remember the intoxication of the number growing. I have 50. I have 100. I have 372 out of 800. I was getting close to completion. I wanted the hard to find games. Ah, the hunt. I'd spend hours going to pawn shops and flea markets just a save a few bucks on a game (as opposed to getting it on ebay). Or just to find that jackpot rare find (which happened a couple times). I collected for about 2 to 3 years. Then it sort of died out. I quit collecting. It just kind of happened. It wasn't a conscience decision. Then for a year or two, the games just sat in my closet. I'd pull them out every now and again. I still liked having them. I still took pride in my collection. Even if they were just all boxed up in my closet. Eventually I've kind of grown tired of it and want to sell them because there is nothing there now. I get nothing out it. No enjoyment, no pride. Its more of a hassle and annoyance than anything and I just want to get rid of them.
My revelation
I was talking about some of this with Constance the other night. I've come to realize that these are unusual emotions to feel and especially how strongly I feel them. My games are my baggage. And I've been carrying it around for years. I've boxed it up and stuck it in my closet. Looking back at the beginning is interesting. I had something associated with me that I could tangibly work on and make better, more complete… perfect. It was satisfying. I definitely felt broken and depressed. I couldn't fix things. I didn't know what to even work on. But this. Yes, this I could work on. This I could pour emotions into and I won't get let down. This I can work on and move closer and closer to it being greater, perfect. And my collection won't get up and walk out. As the collection grows so does the attachment, or the bond between me and my collection (the love? affection? hmm, scary, weird). A defense mechanism from my pain? Most definitely. A healthy one. Well, I really don't know. I needed something to survive. But it served its purpose. It's over. That stage has come and gone.
This is why I had so much trouble selling them a couple years ago. I still wasn't over things. I still wasn't ready to let go. I didn't even know that was going on. In fact this whole realization has happened in the past week, but I'm definitely running with it. I just thought I really liked collecting and that’s why it was so hard to let go. Now, as I sell my collection, it's like I'm letting go of the pain. It's like I'm letting go of that attachment. I'm finally unpacking that box of junk in my closet and getting rid of it. The phrase "cleaning out the closet" has never made so much sense to me. It's never had such a literal translation for me. I feel like I could go on forever with all the parallels between experiencing my pain, coping with it, and finally letting it go and my collection. I feel more and more peace and joy with each game I ship, with each gap I see in that collection, with each piece of baggage I'm finally letting go off. And I didn't even know about it.
Do you see any parallels I didn't mention? Have you experienced something that translates so well from physical items to emotional feelings? I'll tell you, it’s quite an eye opener.
I sold my copy of Mario ddr about a month ago for $130, not really knowing what its value would do but expecting it to drop. Well, it's dropping and that makes me happy. Last copy sold for $86. Here’s an interesting thing to take though. Whether its value went up or down after I sold it, I still have $130 and the affect that has on my life is exactly the same. In that sense it doesn't really matter what its value does after than. Then why do I get such joy out of seeing it go down?
Its unnerving to have a decision out there that doesn't seem solid
I've been selling my Sachen games on ebay. Sachen games are rare old NES games that sell pretty well ($25-$40 each) compared to most Nintendo games ($2-$8 each). So, they never show up on ebay. There are a couple that rarely show up but only select titles. I start selling mine and they are going well. I'm pleased with the first 2 weeks of sales and I have a number of them currently up. Well, this week another guy is listing a whole bunch of his sachen games. Ebay is kind of all about competitive timing. Supply and demand you know. The more bidders the higher things go. The more sellers the lower things go. It's best to have as few people competing with the same thing as you on ebay. So, this is discouraging. He actually has a lot of the entire collection up which comes out to about $16 a game. I actually considered buying it and reselling it myself just to kill the competition. And I'd probably make money off it. He also has a lot of single games up but only about 7 different titles(there are about 53). I just find it unusual, irritating, and somewhat coincidental that these finally show up on ebay (via me) and within 2 weeks a bunch more show up. Grr.
Its odd how decisions feel different than expected
I'm in the very early stages of selling off my video game collection. I started with all of them stacked on my bookshelf. Now I've only sold about 30 games so far(out of over a 1000). I tried to sell games before about 2 years ago. It was tough. I picked games I didn't like, and didn't care about and figured had no need for. I remember being nervous as I listed them. I remember feeling like crap once I shipped each one out. I remember feeling like, damn, there goes that piece of my collection. My collection had just lessened. I no longer had that part of my collection. It was actually emotionally distressing(little disturbing huh?). Well, this time, it's a different story. So far I've actually been selling part of my collection that were more prized by me. My rare stuff. The hard to find stuff. Yet, it's been a completely different feeling this time. This time I had a sense of "Finally!" when I listed them and feeling excitement. Then even more when I shipped them out there was a sense of relief. An unusually strong sense of relief. The other day I was at home looked at the bookcase where I had put the games I'm slowing selling off and noticed that it looked a bit smaller. I noticed a small gap where I had grabbed games that I sold. Again, I felt really good and was so glad to see that gap. It felt good for that part of the collection to be gone. Confused?
My history
Let me tell you a back story and maybe it'll help everything make sense. I started collecting after Rachel (tragic break up story for those who don't know) broke up with me. Collecting became one of my escapes. I figured a hobby would be a healthy thing to get into. I spend a lot of time on it. I loved it. Working on something. Completing something. It was all about being complete. I wanted the game, box, and manual. I wanted the game complete. This is a common term among collectors. I wanted every game. I remember the intoxication of the number growing. I have 50. I have 100. I have 372 out of 800. I was getting close to completion. I wanted the hard to find games. Ah, the hunt. I'd spend hours going to pawn shops and flea markets just a save a few bucks on a game (as opposed to getting it on ebay). Or just to find that jackpot rare find (which happened a couple times). I collected for about 2 to 3 years. Then it sort of died out. I quit collecting. It just kind of happened. It wasn't a conscience decision. Then for a year or two, the games just sat in my closet. I'd pull them out every now and again. I still liked having them. I still took pride in my collection. Even if they were just all boxed up in my closet. Eventually I've kind of grown tired of it and want to sell them because there is nothing there now. I get nothing out it. No enjoyment, no pride. Its more of a hassle and annoyance than anything and I just want to get rid of them.
My revelation
I was talking about some of this with Constance the other night. I've come to realize that these are unusual emotions to feel and especially how strongly I feel them. My games are my baggage. And I've been carrying it around for years. I've boxed it up and stuck it in my closet. Looking back at the beginning is interesting. I had something associated with me that I could tangibly work on and make better, more complete… perfect. It was satisfying. I definitely felt broken and depressed. I couldn't fix things. I didn't know what to even work on. But this. Yes, this I could work on. This I could pour emotions into and I won't get let down. This I can work on and move closer and closer to it being greater, perfect. And my collection won't get up and walk out. As the collection grows so does the attachment, or the bond between me and my collection (the love? affection? hmm, scary, weird). A defense mechanism from my pain? Most definitely. A healthy one. Well, I really don't know. I needed something to survive. But it served its purpose. It's over. That stage has come and gone.
This is why I had so much trouble selling them a couple years ago. I still wasn't over things. I still wasn't ready to let go. I didn't even know that was going on. In fact this whole realization has happened in the past week, but I'm definitely running with it. I just thought I really liked collecting and that’s why it was so hard to let go. Now, as I sell my collection, it's like I'm letting go of the pain. It's like I'm letting go of that attachment. I'm finally unpacking that box of junk in my closet and getting rid of it. The phrase "cleaning out the closet" has never made so much sense to me. It's never had such a literal translation for me. I feel like I could go on forever with all the parallels between experiencing my pain, coping with it, and finally letting it go and my collection. I feel more and more peace and joy with each game I ship, with each gap I see in that collection, with each piece of baggage I'm finally letting go off. And I didn't even know about it.
Do you see any parallels I didn't mention? Have you experienced something that translates so well from physical items to emotional feelings? I'll tell you, it’s quite an eye opener.